RANT: The Sisters Antipodes

The Concept:

When the Australian author, Jane Alison was 4 and her sister age 7, her family met an American Diplomat and his family with two daughters of similar ages. The couples were fascinated with each other, and soon the marriages realigned and the father's switched places.

Fascinating read, right?

WRONG!

The concept of this book was so intriguing that I should have wanted to read it in one sitting. Yet reading it was like pulling teeth - I started it in August and it was only out of pure stubborness that I finally finished it in early December. The author was incredibly self-absorbed and wrote as if she was trying to win some kind of I-was-able-to-use-a-metaphor-on-every-page award. The book was absolutely directionless.

As the book nears its end, I am finally lead to believe that I will receive some semblence of satisfaction... For the first time in 30 years, Alison confronts her parents about "the switch" that has never been openly discussed:

...as the light faded and the city began glittering. It slid into a dark, mirrored labyrinth, during which two more bottles of prosecco were popped, a labyrinth in which a monster was needed, a monster that might well lurk behind any troubles with fathers and men I'd spilled at the table...

blah, blah, blah...I'm sorry, what?!?!? I did not read 300 pages about your crazy and poorly described childhood to be given that description as the lame, and hardly-recognizeable, climax of your story.

In an interview, the author mentions this was her second attempt at her memoir. I can only imagine what the first one looked like. I also heard a rumor she has written several other fiction novels. I'll be avoiding those.